Topps, You Can't Fool Me!

Almost since the beginning of the Wax Morgue, I have been ranting and raving about the greatness of the Topps Vault store on eBay. Here we collectors get the opportunity to own a piece of cardboard history, essentially, the actual photo used on our favorite player’s baseball card. While my idol, Jose Canseco is still public enemy #1 in baseball, I have not missed the fact that he has appeared on The Topps Vault more than just a few times.

After the last auction, I ran to contact my only source left in The Hobby to get the name and email of the man in charge of the ToppsVault account. My goal was to see and possibly bid on two main Topps cards that Jose was featured in. The first being the most important, the 1986 Topps Traded “asshole pose” and the green with envy 1987 Topps All-Star Rookie. Unfortunately, despite my heartfelt email, none of those two photos hit eBay.

And then one day out of the blue I see Topps list a “1986 Topps Baseball Original Color Negative Jose Canseco”. In other words, it’s the infamous Topps Traded Jose card from 1986. What else could it be, right? Wait. WHAT.THE.FUCK? That’s Jose alright, in all his Mexistache glory of the mid-80′s but what in the hell is that photo from? Certainly not any 1986 Topps product I know of. What is Topps just making up brands to attempt to unload these horrific photos?

…and then it hit me.

2005 Topps All-Time Fan Favorites.

Um, sorry Topps Company, you can’t label a photo “1986 Topps Baseball” and then try to sell a photo that didn’t hit the card collecting public until 2005. That’s not how it works. Shame on you. Give me this (below) or give me nothing! Until you find this photo (or his 1987 Topps Rookie Cup), me and all four of my daily readers will be boycotting your products. Trust me, this hurts me more than it does you.